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A funeral for a friend…

A funeral for a friend…

Ok, I have a confession. I don’t attend funerals.  I mean unless Brenda drags me kicking and screaming, I just don’t. I went to a funeral in high school for a classmate and I felt traumatized for life. I’ve been to funerals since then but mostly I will just attend visitation at the funeral home. And I have to say even that gives me anxiety. I feel so awful for the family having to stand there and talk to all of these people when I’m sure they just want to sit on a couch and cry.

But as we all know, funerals are for the living. In the South it’s how we show our respect and love for the deceased and their family. We make food. Order flowers. Always have the perfect black modest dress. And I failed miserably in pretty much every category this past week. I did not make food. I forgot to order flowers. And my closet was devoid of the perfect black dress.

Personally I take Dolly’s stance on church and funeral attire. “Honey God don’t care which church you go to just as long as you show up”. The same for clothes. As long as you’re respectfully covered, come on in. But being raised Baptist it was extremely hard for me to feel comfortable in church in pants. Yes, yes, I know, women have been wearing pants to church for years. I have not. Until now. I had no choice. My long black ‘go-to’ maxi dress has tiny little straps. Which meant I would have to throw on a cardigan to be dressed appropriately. (These are the rules in MY head only people. Just so you know.) It was a hundred degrees outside so I wore the black pants and a loose silk top and sandals. And the earth did not fall off its axis.

Wendy, I know you are chuckling at all of the silly thought I put into this. I also know you had to be pleased with the laughter in the church that day. I’ve been asked by several people, how was the service? My answer? It was perfect. I laughed. I cried. I said amen. There was praying and music. And your son spoke. He was funny and sweet and I just wanted to hug him. I wanted to hug your whole family. They’re feeling a little broken without you honey. Please forgive us. It’s hard to let you go so soon. But they’ll be okay. I promise.

Wendy’s preacher has what I call a ‘booming Baptist voice’. The kind that comes in handy when you’re at a revival or when there’s no mic. The kind that when he gets to the good stuff, his tone shifts so quickly it almost makes you jump in your seat. If you’ve never heard a preacher do that you’re missing out. I grew up in small baptist churches where that sound was frequent. So hearing it again took me back. I listened to every single word he said, sort of mesmerized. And then when he spoke softly of Wendy. Because he knew her. He really knew her. He knew her heart. It was so special.

To the Barham and Webster families, I hope you have felt all the love our community has for you. And for Wendy. You are in our thoughts and our prayers. And you are in our hearts. Always.

Have a beautiful Sunday my friends.

And if you see any of Wendy’s family out and about, be sure and give ’em a hug.

Esoecially her brother, Dean. He just loves that.

 

One last thing. I need to offer my sincere thanks to every single person who has donated to the gofundme that was set up two years ago. Trust me, you have made a difference in someone’s life. I am SO grateful to you all. And on behalf of Wendy and her family, again, I thank you.

https://www.gofundme.com/dkfbf4

For Wendy…

I woke up to a beautiful cool morning and the news that Wendy was gone.

Just like that, although it wasn’t as easy as ‘just like that’, sweet Wendy has left our world.

Even when you know something is inevitable, the reality of it still takes your breath away.

My memories of Wendy will always be deeply imbedded in my heart.

She was a light. She had a great laugh. And a smile that turned up on the ends and left you no choice but to smile back.

I cannot imagine the sadness her family feels. But I know they are also relieved that her suffering has ended. She fought so hard. And never once lost her faith. She has left an impression on all of our lives that we will never forget. A beautiful, loving, woman of God.

Shirley, I know the only thing that could possibly comfort you at this moment is knowing that Wendy is now in heaven with her daddy. Happily wrapped in his arms. No, we should never outlive our children. It doesn’t seem right. So please let your other children and grandchildren and great grandchildren, take care of you.

Donna, Becky and Dean, you three are simply amazing. How lucky you all have been to have each other. And how lucky Wendy was to call you her brother and sisters. You covered her with love and support like only a sibling could.

Megan, Josh and Jamie, her babies. Her greatest accomplishments. You could do no wrong in her eyes and that’s the way it should be. You made her a grandmother. The joy you brought into her life is simply immeasurable. And you made her proud. All three of you. Every. Single. Day.

Jamie, your mother-in-law has been so grateful for the care you gave her daughter. If anything eased her mind lately it was that. Your devotion to Wendy was evident and did not go unnoticed by her family and friends. It’s so clear that you honored your vows until the end. In sickness or in health.

When Wendy first got sick two years ago, people so graciously and lovingly donated to help with her care. It’s hard enough to have cancer when you have insurance and benefits. Wendy had neither. What she did have was a community that loved and cared about her and her family. I’m posting the link to that gofundme now. Anything you could give to help with funeral expenses would be so greatly appreciated.

Goodbye sweet Wendy.

We will love you always.

https://www.gofundme.com/dkfbf4

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Father Time…

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I have these moments where I miss my father so bad I feel like I can’t breathe. They come at such random times I’m often not prepared for them. Someone asked me a question last week abo…

Source: Father Time…

Farewell to Never Fry Chicken When You’re Naked…

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Farewell to Never Fry Chicken When You’re Naked…

This is blog number 178 and my last. I’m not even sure why I started blogging. I’ve always liked to write. I wrote poetry and short stories and always kept them to myself. I’ve met some really nice people writing this blog. People who encourage you in life and applaud your accomplishments. People who genuinely pull for you to win and do well and lift you up when you need lifting.

People who care about your family and pray for them when they’re sick. People who understand how difficult it is to see our parents get older and have health issues. People who get that your mother can drive you crazy but of course she’s still your mother and you’re lucky to have her here on this earth.

People who get your sense of humor. Wicked though it may be at times. And sometimes inappropriate. People who laugh with me are probably my favorite of all. People who cry with me, and I do tend to cry often, are my soul mates in this journey. You know what Truvy says…”Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion”.

There have been several occasions I thought it was time for the blog to end. I think people only want to hear about your life for so long. And I don’t blame them one bit. Just know this. It’s hard putting yourself out there. You get judged and criticized and critiqued. But as always, the faithful, loyal readers who always leave great comments about their own lives always made it worth it.

It’s not that I don’t still have things to say, but honestly it’s gotten harder and harder to not feel vulnerable in a way. When I share this blog I don’t really know every person reading it and at times that has caused me stress and a little anxiety. The world can be a very cruel, mean place. A place that I no longer want to share personal details of my life with anymore. That saddens me but it is what it is.

Thank you to each person who has ever taken the time to read this weekly dose of my world. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. Your kind words will never be forgotten. I don’t know what I’ll do with myself early Sunday mornings from now on but I’ll figure it out.

It’s been a blast.

Love you all…

 

When the dust settles…

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When the dust settles…

Dust. It’s everywhere. From the second we moved in it’s like everyone doing work at our house decided to show up daily and do what should have been done before we got here. Hence the dust. By Friday it was rather quiet with just a few plumbers and a meeting with the window blind people. And I’ll be honest. As badly as I want this kitchen finished, I want everyone to get the hell out of my house. Anyone carrying a tool, wearing a tshirt that says blah blah blah electric, or fill in the blank heating and air conditioning. GO HOME.

No one wants this more than me except for maybe Bruiser. He doesn’t even bark at them anymore. Just gives them an eye roll and lays back down. I’ll be doing that too if it’s not over soon. I did answer the door in my pajamas on more than one occasion this week. Hair in a ponytail. Flip flops on my feet. My version of the eye roll.

The hubs was in Puerto Rico most of the week and I have chosen to move past my rage and hysterics about that. I kid. My hysteria will never leave my side. It was just a quick business trip and yes the timing sucked but what are you gonna do? Whine and moan about it all week? Absolutely. I kept him updated with pics. He was in the same time zone so that helped. And he still kept up his constant email stream to the contractor. I gave up on that weeks ago. But he’s no quitter. And for that I’m grateful.

Bruiser has been my main concern all week. He lived his whole life at our other house. The only time he seems ok here is when he’s asleep in my bed. During the day he paces the floor. Tail down. He likes going outside, but he’s not a fan of hearing the announcer from across the lake at the ball field. I know he misses seeing the mailman everyday so he can bark his head off until that little while mail truck can no longer be seen. I decided to open the front door and let him go out with me, without his leash. He just stood there in the driveway. Staring at me. Like what do I do now? So I put the leash back on him and while daddy was gone we took walks together down the driveway in the evening, just the two of us. It was nice. I think maybe it’s so quiet sometimes that it freaks him out.

I hope I don’t sound like a complete Debbie downer. A negative Nellie. A irritated Iris. It was actually a very productive week. It’s the dust people!!!! Cough. Cough. It clogs up your happy! Besides, if I’m going to be a pessimist, I’m taking you all with me. Know that now. We’re in this together! You feel me? Good.

We’ve spent the weekend unpacking boxes, running errands, and still eating takeout. Today we will do as little as possible. My mother-in-law won’t be in town for Easter so she is making us a home cooked meal and bringing it over. I’m gonna break out the real plates and silverware for that.

As soon as I rinse the dust off…

 

Here’s a few pics from the week…

We just need paint, subway tile, a downdraft that works,  refrigerator doors that line up, and an oven door that doesn't have a ding in it.

We just need paint, subway tile, a downdraft that works,
refrigerator doors that line up, and an oven door that doesn’t have a ding in it.

 

Attempting to get organized.

Attempting to get organized.

 

A cool evening walk with Bruiser.

A cool evening walk with Bruiser.

 

Unpacking new dishes. Bubble wrap heaven.

Unpacking new dishes. Bubble wrap heaven.

 

Thursday night lights from the ball field across the lake.  I enjoy the lights. Go Eagles!

Thursday night lights from the ball field across the lake.
Go Eagles!

 

Wrapped in mommy's pashmina and sleeping like a baby...

Wrapped in mommy’s pashmina and sleeping like a baby.

 

 

Green acres is the place to be…

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Green acres is the place to be…

Ok it’s not ALL green but you get my drift! We now actually live on more than a postage stamp! And I can barely see one neighbor’s house and that’s only through a window in my bathroom. We’ve gone rural y’all! Can I tell you a secret? We have NO idea where our property line is. We meant to have a survey done but it’ll have to wait. I don’t even have a complete kitchen. So. Priorities.

Moving day dawned bright and early Friday morning with me and French Zoila busy as bees. The hubs was running things here at the new crib and I’m not gonna lie. I was just a tad jealous. He had a small team here setting up networks and tv’s and satellites and all sorts of crap. I’m pretty sure we actually CAN see Russia from our front yard. Meanwhile back at the old hizzle, we were packing clothes into those cardboard moving wardrobes. Which, I must say, are the best thing since sliced bread. Because I keep practically everything on hangers.

The movers were amazing. Quick. Efficient. Took excellent care of my things. Loaded up my entire house in three hours. Two Men And A Truck. Tell them I sent you. The only thing we didn’t bring were the kitchen cabinet contents. I will joyfully move those myself when I have cabinets to put everything  in. All in all it wasn’t too bad. Although my old house looked sad. It needs a new family and I hope it gets one soon. It’s a great house with great neighbor’s who mind their own business but if you need help, they’d show up. Good people.

So here we are. In our new home. And I’m still crying. Only now it’s because I’m just so completely and totally grateful and blessed. I told the hubs at the end of the first day here, that I hadn’t felt this lucky since our wedding day. And it’s true. The kids came over. We had some takeout. Mady was thrilled to find her own little flat screen in her room. (Her parents don’t allow it at home. But we did tell them we were doing it.) She laid in her floor and watched Teen Titans. Danced around. They all took a walk down to the water. We would’ve joined them but by that point I probably would have just rolled right into the lake.

Last night I took a shower and washed my hair and leisurely sat in my big ole bathroom and dried my weave. I told my BFF I felt like a low rent Lisa Vanderpump. I get it now with the big bathrooms people. I get it! It’s the air. The space. I made the biggest damn mess you have ever seen and it was fabulous! Towels strewn all about. I couldn’t find a thing so I was digging through drawers like a mad woman trying to find the right brush. And then it hit me. You’re no Lisa Vanderpump. You’ve got to clean all of this up!

Today will be the first Sunday dinner at Green Acres. However due to the fact that we have no cooking devices we’ll pick up some delicious takeout. Which is perfect if you think about it. That way I can just throw the dishes right out the window just like Eva Gabor did. Because I’m pretty sure they’ll be paper. Or plastic…

We are fancy now ya know.

 

Here’s a few pics from the homestead…

 

I love the cowhide. And I love my chair by the window.

I love the cowhide. And I love my chair by the window.

 

The view yesterday from my chair. Lots of fishing going on. Seems our cove might just be a hot spot.

The view yesterday from my chair. Lots of fishing going on. Seems our cove might just be a hot spot.

 

We had this odd niche above the fireplace in the living room. Didn't have a clue what to put there. Then I saw it. The cross. The one I told you all about. Meant to be.

We had this odd niche above the fireplace in the living room.
Didn’t have a clue what to put there. Then I saw it. The cross. The one I told you all about. Meant to be.

 

Working on the entryway. And attempting to repurpose items I love. It'll get there. I have to sit with it a while.

Working on the entryway.
And attempting to repurpose items I love.
It’ll get there. I have to sit with it a while.

 

And there she is. Your low rent LVP. Also, I washed my hair with conditioner. Fatigue people. It's no joke.

And there she is.
Your low rent LVP.
Also, I washed my hair with conditioner. Fatigue people.
It’s no joke.

 

 

The last supper…

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The last supper…

Do you say dinner or supper? Growing up we always said supper. I think I started saying dinner because the hubs did. I can’t remember. Or maybe I thought ‘dinner’ sounded classier. Either way I’ve decided today I’m going to say supper. I love this little sleeper movie with Sally Field and James Garner, Murphy’s Law. He would ride horses at her ranch and she would say ‘stay to supper’ and he would and she liked him but was gun shy. In the end she says ‘stay to supper Murphy’? And he says “no, I won’t do that, not unless I’m here for breakfast”. And she says “how do ya like your eggs”. I love that movie.

So today is the last Sunday supper at this house. We are scheduled to move Friday whether the work is done or not. The floors are done. And that was the biggie. So the movers are hired and packing has commenced. And I’m having occasional bouts of tears. The last Sunday morning in bed here in this house. It just feels like so many ‘last’.

A lot of good things happened here in this house. And some bad. We found out we would be grandparents downstairs in the den. We took care of my daddy here in this living room until he passed. You know I never felt sad using that room again. Only peace. My kids drove me nuts in pretty much every single room but they left this house to go live on their own. It still never seemed empty though. Probably because they left so much of their stuff.

Packing up is exciting but very emotional for me. I tend to have to sit and go through things. Tossing out some junk here and there. But for the most part enjoying little finds. Almost all the closets have been cleaned out except two. The hubs has his areas to take care of. I told him yesterday, it’s crunch time, either you pack it up or I toss it. And I will. Trust me. I’m like the anti-hoarder.

Today I’m cooking the perfect pot roast in my new shiny red Dutch oven. With some carrots and onions and mushrooms. Creamed potatoes. Deviled eggs. Mac ‘n cheese. Buttermilk biscuits. Kickin’ it old school supper style. There will be cake. And coffee. And I wish you all could join us. But you can’t. For one, they don’t make roast that big, and two, well you just can’t. I’m tired and the last thing I need is company for supper. Geez people.

Good Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, next weeks blog will be coming from a new spot. I hope I’m feeling inspired and won’t just bore you all to tears with nostalgia. Until then, may you all have the most beautiful Sunday.

And if family or friends stop by, ask them to stay to supper…

Here’s a few pics from my week.

 

Breakfast in bed.  Don't have a hissy, it's not like he cooked it. But I'm grateful nonetheless.

Breakfast in bed.
Don’t have a hissy, it’s not like he cooked it. But I’m grateful nonetheless.

 

Packing up my treasures. Daddy's ring. Granny's pearls.

Packing up my treasures. Daddy’s ring. Granny’s pearls.

 

Have you ever? I'm telling you people, she is precious.

Have you ever? I’m telling you people, she is precious.

 

The love of my life. (Rudely checking an email at dinner last night. He put the phone away)

The love of my life. (Rudely checking an email at dinner last night. He put the phone away)

 

Seventeen years ago. Just settled in here. Good times.

Seventeen years ago. Just settled in here. Good times.

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